What Are You Googling?
Do you search for “lose five pounds in a week” or “low calorie frosting?” Theres a new list that shows what health topics women are searching for online. Take a look and then understand why from now on every post will mention Jillian Michaels and Taco Bell. 
We have list here of search items that lead people to Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat? And the most common term that people search for and wind up here. This is today’s list. Oo-kay.
| Search | |
|---|---|
| diet blog funny | |
| will shellac nails break | |
| ina garten overweight | |
| zumba at the ymca | |
| kirstie alley fat on all fours | |
| ina garten weight shirt | |
| uk pharmacy that has and sells redux for | |
| did ina garten lose weight | |
| kelly ripa diet food | |
| falling off a diet |
The Elusive Full Service Gas Station
I found the elusive full service gas station in Toledo! Me at my loopy reporter best (worst?).
Scientific PROOF that Different People Need Different Diets
Well Eur-FRIGGIN-REEKA!!! A new study on mice has finally given scientists the idea that different diets help different people lose different amounts of weight. This has been our philosophy since we first heard the word “husky.” First up you might want to read this article.It’s sciencey and has the details. We’re not so much sciencey as we are try- anything-to-be-smoking-hot-types.
So here’s the gist. Researchers tested 40 year old mice who’d had several children and were doing Jillian Michaels “The Shred” to mixed results. Wait no. That’s not right. They tested a bunch of fruit flies. Here’s a quote on what they found.
Using fruit flies, researchers have found that genes interacting with diet, rather than diet alone, are the main cause of variation in metabolic traits, such as body weight. This helps explain why some diets work better for some people than others, and suggests that future diets should be tailored to an individual’s genes rather than to physical appearance. Quote from Genetics Society of America (2010, July 28). Why fad diets work well for some, but not others.
So there you have it. This is why some stuff works for you and not me. Why I swear if I skip breakfast I stick to my diet better but others say they have to eat breakfast to avoid binges. It’s why at 4pm I always feel like a ravening beast but for you it’s 2am. It’s why we’re doing 52 Mondays – Adventures in Short Attention Span Dieting.
But fellow dieters – SCIENCE has finally caught up with us. Eur-FRIGGIN-REEKA!!!
You’re Stronger Than You Think
He cravings! Yeah I’m talking to you.
Letter to the Family Diet Saboteur (Reader Favorite)
Please print and customize.
Dear (beloved husband/significant other/co-parent/lovely wife/offspring),
You may have noticed that my (butt/gut/thighs) (have/has) spread in the last few (decades/9 months/weeks/holidays) and is now (wider than our love seat/lookin’ like a pony keg/preventing me from wearing corduroy as friction may ignite a thigh fire).
I am trying to (lose a few pounds/shrink the muffin top/fit into my old football jersey/see my toes/be able to go upstairs without requiring oxygen). I have decided to (count calories/reduce carbohydrates/switch to light beer/move around more). You may notice strange things in the crisper next to the bacon, they’re called vegetables.
I will do this with or without your support but seeing as I (let you get the big screen t.v./tolerate your mother/never missed Muffins w/Mom/never missed Dough-nuts with Dads) would appreciate you respect my choices. Please don’t (offer me seconds/leave leftover pizza/order an extra french fry). When you say (but it’s a birthday party/it’s only one/you deserve a treat/keep baking yummy cookies) I know you’re trying to be nice but it does not help me. When I talk about my eating plan and you (roll your eyes/snort/laugh about it with your mother) it makes me feel (angry/sad/lonely/a teensy bit murdery).
Because I know you love me and want me around to (wash the socks/mow the lawn/drive you places/destroy 
you when we play Jeopardy) for years to come. Here are a few ways you can (help/stay out of my way). The proper way to ask me about my progress is to say how was your weigh in NOT did you lose anything? If I say (good/fine/horrifying) this means I’ve (not lost/gained/want to beat someone up) and you should just (give me a hug/suggest we take a walk together/shut up). If I say I lost weight you can say (you look so great/way to go/I still don’t think you need to lose an ounce). I may or may not share how much I’ve lost or gained.
If I have inspired you to (get off your butt/eat a carrot/buy me something nice) great! But if you continue to (laugh at me/push food on me/load the dishwasher like a psychopath) I will file it away on the list I keep in my head. If you are supportive it will also be duly noted.
And keep in mind I (love you just the way you are/support your choices/think you’re the bees knees/know you let me win at Jeopardy) and that taking care of my health means I can better take care of you. If you disregard this letter I have no choice but to invite MY mother to come live with us.
Love,
The Nurturing Dieter
Attack of the Killer Tomato Saturday
I’m growing low calorie food! Hazzah! This is my very 3rd attempt at at garden and it’s going well. Take a look at what hooked me. Here’s how it started.
Then last year, during my sophomore year gardening I experienced the Epic Tomato Fail of 2009! When it came to planting my very second vegetable garden, my expectations were high it even made it into the newspaper column the italics is that Tomato Fail breaking news.
Last spring, in this column, I described the strange cucumgourd spawned from my very first vegetable garden. The mutant cucumber was frightening, yet compelling, like a vampire. I also lovingly recalled my first tomatoes. It was the tomatoes that hooked me on gardening. Read on…
52 Mondays – Week 2
This Week’s Short Attention Span Diet – Nintendo Wii Fit
This week, Robin is testing the Nintendo Wii Fit. We know, we know. We’re very 2000 and Late as far as fitness crazes go, and we may risk losing our place at the cool table, but we’re fine with that. The Wii fit (and newer Wii Fit Plus) is, according to the manufacturers, aimed at getting us off the couch and into action. Sounds perfect!
Metrics: Like Rebecca, Robin is not comfortable revealing all three of her numbers but will report gains and losses. Starting weight is 1#5.
Check In: Sunday for the week’s wrap up!
52 Mondays – Sweaty Shorts – Results
Remember we’re doing a diet a week? It’s our new series for Short Attention Span Dieters – 52 Mondays. Our first diet started last week and we were trying sweaty shorts to see if our workouts were sweatier – thereby burning more calories. Here are my thoughts on the Neoprene Shorts by Valeo – provided to us by America’s Nutrition.
I chose to use the shorts during my Jillian Michaels “The Shred” workout. I am towards the end of ten days on level one. My initial impression is that they’re like working out in scuba gear. This is not a bad thing. I’ve come to realize that if a workout is easy it isn’t a workout. SO with that philosophy in place I was able to accept the fact that I’d be uncomfortable. But honestly I wasn’t.
The shorts are comfortable to workout in but don’t look good in them – at all. SO if your point for working out is to wear cute clothes at the gym and attract admirers I’d recommend something else. If your point is to sweat off that extra pat of butter then you’ll be okay.
In terms of sweat volume – or is it mass – I would say I sweat more when I’m about to fly or last Friday night in the basement of the local bar for a high school reunion mixer. (I sweat like it was my job for that social event. Really nice.) The shorts are comfortable. There’s no chaffing and honestly I’ve experienced way more pain while wearing a pair of Spanx or “shapewear.” Am I the only one whose “shapewear” hits at about spleen level? I’ve literally removed “shapewear” in the bathroom between the salad and the main course of a dinner party and shoved it in my evening bag because I thought my internal organs were being compromised.
ANYWAY – my point is the shorts are perfectly comfortable, not very attractive, but do cause some extra sweating. I recommend them as a way to squeeze a little more work out of your workout.
Metrics: Weight loss after 4 sweaty shorts workouts – uh -none. I stayed the same. BUT I did eat three Klondike Bars this week. SO maybe I did actually lose but negated it by the Klondiking.
Lifestyle or Lump It:Lifestyle, I think I’m going to wear them again this week as I get to level 2 of The Shred. Yep I liked the shorts enough to keep at it. I recommend the shorts to anyone who’d like to do more sweating, I can’t say they were successful with only a week’s worth of use to help me lose weight, but I can say that if your being hit on at the gym rock the sweaty shorts and that’ll stop.
