Biggest Loser Bob is My Maharishi…Also, is Mariah Carey trying to Kill Us?
Ok, I had my epiphany moment this week. I was sitting on the couch watching the DVR playback of Biggest Loser. (I’m thinking I want Kelly to win…that girl is a bulldog!) Trainer Bob was bitching at Little Brother-Jangly Man Boobed Jay that he needed to eat more carbs. Jay wasn’t getting it. I wasn’t getting it. It went like this:
Jay: People lose weight with low carbs. I had broccoli and an orange. (Makes sense to me, WTF? Why isn’t he losing?)
Bob: Jay, sedentary people lose weight eating low carbs. Sedentary people.
To me, this is almost like doing the 1st step of a 12 step program. Hello, my name is Greta. I am not a sedentary person. I need to sit around more and eat low carbs or get off my heiny and eat less calories. Seriously though, this makes perfect sense to me why I always end up rebounding from Atkins if I’m also upping my exercise. This was a serious duh moment for me. Thank you Bob.
I love Bob.
I want Bob to come live in my house. I think my husband would be ok with that. Again…also why I never buy the argument that rich people can’t get it together to be thin if they really and truly want to be. I would hire Bob and he would be my kept man and he would feed me food porn and I would have nothing ever to worry about…ever. I dig Jillian too, but she would scare my kids. Seriously, she yells at Allison Sweeney. Who yells at Allison Sweeny???
Ok…sorry if I’m rambly today. Also, maybe I’m the only dork left who didn’t make this connection (not that moving around more helps one lose weight…but that it’s ok to eat good carbs, as long as I get up off the couch)
Greta
P.S. I know this way off topic, but that new Mariah Carey song just came on the radio. “Touch my body,” I think. I can’t understand a futher mucking word that woman is saying. Except every 30 seconds or so, she says in a low, breathy voice, “I will hunt you down.” Is everyone else hearing that too or do I need to get a restraining order?
your meds needs to be adjusted
or mine do
that said… Bob did give me that same “aha” moment whent he went all “SEDINTARY”
You made me look up the lyrics.
Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you love my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.
The let me wrap my thighs all around your waist part? She must have some ginoromous thighs, not a very sexy verse if you ask me.
If there’s a camera up in here
Then I’d best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
‘Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
‘Cause they be all up in my bidness
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I..
Bidness???!
Now I need MY meds adjusted. Or more wine.
Mariah Carey should be shot out of a cannon, not heard
Claudia, you are awesome for that. Meanwhile…again I say…WTF Mariah?
I shall investigate a “Wendy interview” and report back. I will have to find cool people so it could take a while.
ROFL Really, I’m in tears here – laughing. I thought I was the only one who thought this song was effed up! I’d hear the part about the ‘camera up in here’, and ‘bidness’ and think – Ok, this is supposed to be a classy act – how??? Is she goin gangsta on us all of a sudden? I wasn’t much of a MC fan to begin with but this goes against the whole ‘respectable’ image she once ‘attempted’ to portray. (picture me with the air quote fingers)
And for the record – stay on the meds Greta. This was a fun one
AND…I shall stay sedentary! How else will this low carb lifestyle work for me? I consider myself enlightened by proxy. Thank you SO much! And to think I was about to sabotage myself by starting back up on the bike! Whew…close call.
OMG – that song is on XM right now! LOL I’m going to giggle every time I hear it!
I’ve always felt as though MC lives in a reality that is slightly apart from the rest of us.
I had a golden retriever named Mariah. What a good dog; she never even barked, unless there was a prowler. We never had any prowlers so she never actually barked but we speculated that if there indeed was a prowler she would rise to the occasion. What a good dog, Mariah was.
I’m in a diet rut. It sucks. It’s even ruttier than my last rut.
Would Mariah hunt stuff down? Seriously, I’m going to lie awake tonight worrying whether Mariah is standing outside my window w/ a bloody knife and crazy eyes.
I wish I’d have known your Mariah.
My diet rut has turned into the Grand Canyon.
“and he will feed me food porn”…I love it!!!
Now I’m going to have to listen for that song. I’m pretty sure that I may have heard it, but i think i always change the station!
You all CRACK me up (and I’m not even drinking coffee).
Sadly Karla, despite the OJ Simpson connotation and the bad grammar and otherwise unintellible lyrics, it’s kind of catchy. I can’t get it out of my head.
Hey Harmony! With fruit and Redi-Whip. And low cal pudding.
Mariah Carey is just one more reason I don’t listen to commercial radio. I have no idea what the song sounds like, but the lyrics are enough to make me grateful for that!
Meanwhile, I don’t watch TBL, but mostly because I get frustrated with it – of course these people are losing weight, they have personal trainers, chefs, and TV cameras twenty-four/seven! How exactly am I supposed to apply their “reality” to my own?? Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for anyone who removes unwanted poundage, but I just don’t think they should call that “reality”.
Meanwhile, meanwhile, my mum snookered me into watching some show called “I Can Make You Thin” on one of those discovery channels, and all I can say is…I want my cut of the money. That man is telling people the very same things I’ve said for years, and I just know he got that idea from reading my mind! I want my share, dang it! So I can hire a personal trainer and work my ass off (literally)!
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
also “unintelligible” HA!
Hi K, That’s so funny, I watched that show the other night so I could write a posty-poo about it. Coming soon to a blog space near you
For “Pages”, how about “The Guts”.
For “Categories”, how about “From the Engine to the Caboose”.
These are fair…I expect to see ideas far-more-clever!
Mariah Carey is the great singer out there..i’ve been playing her music since i was like a little kid
I have tickets reserved from my friend in Singapore to see Mariah Carey’s performance. I look forward to that as it is my first time to see her performing live
I saw the pictures of Mariah Carey when she performed at the Today show. She looks great and happy. I just love her so much
Mariah Carey’s next album for Christmas has a nice picture of her on the cover. She looks great and I hope she gets back into that shape after giving birth