Gout in History and the Focus of All Evil
Hear ye, hear ye all Bingers out there…I believe there is a reckoning more powerful even than back fat and thy name is gout.
I once ate AN ENTIRE BAG of wicked good baked potato chips in less than 6 hours. It was the kind of eating that causes your lips to crack and sting. If ever there was a build up of toxins in my body it was after that binge. (Not counting all Freshman year at college. Woo Daytona!)
The historical cartoon below by James Gillray circa 1799 depicts fairly accurately what happened after that binge. No sooner did I tilt the bag into my mouth to pour in the bit of crumbs.. when I began to feel what I now call the pinprick of Satan on my foot.
Almost out of no where I couldn’t move my toe, nay my entire leg, for fear my toe would somehow find out. I tried to lay down in bed but even the slightest grazing from the sheet was all it took for me to scream. It was like toe labor pains. It was as if all evil in the universe had concentrated itself in that one spot and I was to give birth to the whirlwind via my big toe. I came to believe that Osama Bin Laden was in fact hiding in there.
Gentle readers… I give you gout.
Historically gout suffers were husky and powerful men, people such as Henry the VIII, Benjamin Franklin and George Lopez. Historically gout was also associated with wealth and greed.
I am not wealthy nor greedy, in fact I work two jobs, hardly slothful right? But I, like Kublai Kahn before me, suffered a traumatic episode of self-diagnosed gout. Essentially your body cannot properly process a waste called uric acid and it settles in a joint. It is believed that an over-indulgence (in my case binging on chips) can lead to the build up of uric acid. When the acid settles in that joint then you will know what pure evil feels like. Evil feels like terrorist leaders choosing to dig a spider hole in your foot.
The self-diagnosed gout is gone now. But it knows where I live. It has been here and I live in fear of something gouty this way comes.
oh no! My grandpa has this and now has to adhere to an anti-gout diet. No more organ meats for you, my dear! On the positive side, cherries and strawberries are GREAT for this condition, so enjoy!
Yikes! Get thee to the detox place!
WeightingGame – oh no.. not organ meats.. I love organ meats. Kidding.. I actually prefer piano meats.
Mental P Mama – God bless ‘ya for commenting I thought that this might be the post where I accidentally scared everyone away.
First, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Second, I’m like that with salt and pepper pistachios. I stay away from them. I could consume bagloads. And I don’t want gout, please and thank you. Feel better soon!!
hubby has this too!
one time flareup and then never again.
(Im so thankful it’s not me as I HEART the salty dried beef)
Claudia see I’m helping you control your appetite today with a gross post. We’d been accused of making people hungry so see now you won’t be. I know I hate feet too. And thank you… it’s all gone but for the living in fear.
And Miz Fit I’m very glad to hear this was a one time thing for your hubby. I may move out of the state so it doesn’t find me again.
My husband is suffering from this right now also! No fun! It first appeared after playing in a Golf tournament years ago. He had not had a flare up until last week and it’s still here…
I feel so bad for anyone that gets this stuff, it’s very painful from what I understand.
Tell your hubby I can relate Meg! And tell him to get well soon.
Nicole is now having nightmares about creepy purple gout monsters biting her toes.
I’m sorry about that Nicole. But see I’ll sleep better because when you don’t visit here I worry.
There is a museum display on Ben Franklin that talks about his bout with gout (tee hee) and a little voice says in a colonial accent “It is I, the GOUT!”.
Makes me pee every time.
My sister’s husband (age, yes 30 and weighs like #5 but loves beer) has gout. And you can imagine how fun it was for him when he had a flare up while they were trying to get pregnant. Do you think that girl let him off the hook? Hell no. He had to get his ass workin’ *with* that gouty little toe. Serves him right I say!