Garden Mutant Scares the Virgin Garden(er)

22

cucumgord

Well what in the flip is this thing? Things are going pretty well in my very first vegetable garden. I’ve even made a healthy-lifestyle-choice salad out of a normal socially acceptable cucumber that I grew.

Then today I was out inspecting my cucumber plants. I felt an uncomfortable nudge against my ankle and looked down to see this freak show. You can imagine my horror. I plucked the mutant bad boy out of the garden for examination. The Virgin Garden(er) is both attracted and repulsed. It is still sitting on the kitchen island… mocking me and I think it’s smoking a cigarette.



Comments

22 Responses to “Garden Mutant Scares the Virgin Garden(er)”
  1. noble pig says:

    He-he..you are hilarious…I think it’s a cigar!

  2. Cathy C says:

    Very funny – I think you got yourself a Hybrid

  3. Lori says:

    I’m no expert but it looks like the elusive cucumelon to me…

  4. Mama Zen says:

    Oh, it’s a cucumber . . . with a handle. Use wisely.

  5. Maybe it is a bad mating incident between a cucumber and a watermelon. What color are the seeds?

  6. furiousBall says:

    either way, it looks like bad VD. i mean really bad, like slept with a nuclear experiment bad

  7. Hilary says:

    This vegetable is totally an Abomination in the Eyes of God!!

    Totally. Either that or some kind of organic dildo.

    Um, I’m totally inappropriate this morning. Sorry ;) .

  8. HRH says:

    Holy crap! What did you use for fertilizer?

  9. were you poking around in my sock drawer again?

  10. Michelle says:

    Very strange. Maybe this is ground zero of the salmonella outbreak?

  11. anne nahm says:

    My stretch marks looked like that too. Maybe it is just pregnant.

  12. Kiki says:

    noble – thank you and i think your first book should be called The Freudian Cucumber
    Cathy – But can I drive it to work?
    Lori – Please don’t make me do a spit take because that’s what just happened.
    Mama – If you continue to be that funny the slob in the next cube is gonna wonder what the heck I’m laughing at.
    Sweets – I’m afraid to look under the hood.
    furious – is there good VD? And please don’t ever leave us.
    Hilary – Inappropriate Thursday, it’s like Casual Friday without the Khakis.
    HRH – Fertilizer?
    Grounded – srsly these comments are so funny I’m going to have to stop reading them at work, cause of the whole laughing out loud at my “work” screen
    Michelle – CNN is probably on the way
    Anne – Does that mean it’s going to spawn more?

  13. Where do the batteries go?

  14. mamatulip says:

    Oliver just looked at the screen and said, “What’s that?!”

  15. Kiki says:

    Mental – where DON’T they go? I have no idea what I mean by that.
    mamatulip – Indeed Oliver indeed.

  16. anne nahm says:

    If it whispers “kill…me!” ala Alien , I’d back away as quickly as I could.

  17. Emily says:

    Maybe it’s half pickle and half itsy bitsy watermelon…tep that’s it.

  18. um, the last time I got nudged in the leg by something that looked like that, things did not end well.

  19. Kiki says:

    WeightingGame – See you get me!

  20. Tanya says:

    Did you eat it? What did it taste like? Sometimes the
    freaks of nature turn out to be totally delicious :0)

  21. Kiki says:

    It was suspiciously squishy so I refrained from eating it. But now I’m thinking I should have tried it Tanya!

  22. The wonders of gardening! Bet it would have been good!