Vacation Fat Emergency II – I’m Saved!!!!!


The other day I posted about my tips for dealing with those extra pounds that I was planning to lose before vacation, but didn’t. Among other things, I ordered new bathing suits online. Well…they came today.

Vacation Bathing Suit2This one was a bust, I’m afraid. I dunno, it just didn’t hold me in like I was hoping and the neckline plunged waaaaaay lower then I need my kids to witness.

But, my friends…this one.

Vacation Bathing SuitThis one. Swimsuit nirvana. It’s a faux tankini. In other words, it’s one piece that looks like two pieces. We‘ve discussed the tankini before. The consensus seems to be that it looks good on paper. Acutually on  people? there are muffin top issues. It is, perhaps, the best suit I’ve ever bought since 1991 and fat settled into my life. No rolls, no bulges, anything that normally rolls or bulges is hidden under the fake tankini blousiness. I went back online and ordered 2 more. I want to work for Fantasizer now. Seriously….

In more depressing news, however, I put on a gold necklace that my husband bought me on our honeymoon cruise 13 years ago. People…my neck is fatter. WTF?????


12 Responses to “Vacation Fat Emergency II – I’m Saved!!!!!”
  1. Nora says:

    I bought a faux tankini two years ago for my trip to Hawaii and it really is the best swimsuit cut out there! I was so pleased to find, last night, that it still fits so I can take it on my vacation this year :)

  2. MizFit says:

    the necklace called.
    it shrunk when your loving husband attempted to wash & dry it so it would sparkle like your ever amazing eyes (his words.)


  3. furiousBall says:

    i’ve got it!

    two words…

    topless beach

    there you go, problem solved.

  4. Nicole says:

    I feel your pain sista’. Recently I attempted to bind my ankles with a gold ankle bracelet I got when I was a teenager. My ankles, indeed, have grown. That poor, innocent anklet…

  5. Michelle says:

    Love my faux tankini.

    Listen, my feet have gotten a 1/2 size smaller since losing 75 pounds so my neck must have shrunk too. Which means…the opposite must be true! Sorry :(

  6. Cara says:

    My dear sweet Greta, everyone knows that gold shrinks when it’s not in use. Silly gold.

    Enjoy your holidays!

  7. Kiki says:

    I like that Cara.. gold shrink! I think jeans do too.

  8. natalie says:

    i love the faux tankini! i am not in need of a new bathing suit just yet, but when i am i will definitely be looking at those!

  9. No sympathy here…I have at least 3 necklaces I am no longer comfortable wearing as they now look like chokers. Remember chokers??? They’re hideous just hideous! NO ONE, even those virginal girls of the ‘ 70’s look good in them. Yes, one’s neck can very quickly look like a Quaker Oats canister. (sigh)

  10. Kelley says:

    That is why I love shoes and earrings. They always fit.

  11. hahahaha chokers. i used to have a black velvet one. sick. what about those wire ones that were supposed to look like tattoos? anyone remember those?

    I still like the first one but that might have something to do with the fact i never ever have to worry about showing too much cleavage. i could go completely topless and people would just think i was a little boy with long hair.

  12. ruby mei says:

    Well, nice buddy… Someone will love this article if I tell her about this. She’s really interested in this topic. Thanks again…