Help Wanted:I needed a guest writer while Greta vacations. Will Betheboy came to my rescue. He writes the witty blog BeTheBoy. He offered me this slice of cake and the apocalypse. For the first time ever cake with no calories. Thank you Be The Boy.. you The MAN!

Enjoy this story originally posted on September 24, 2007 and visit BeTheBoy for more.

The End of Days and Cake

On Saturday night, after having a particularly annoying day, Nina and I decided that we absolutely must have cake. I had been to the supermarket earlier in the day but was feeling surprisingly health conscious at the time so I skipped the cake and bough vegetables…bad idea. Plus I couldn’t even find a cake because the supermarket was a madhouse on Saturday afternoon because it was raining. In most cities rain is no problem but here in LA it rains so infrequently that precipitation is treated like a plague from god. While I was in the store there was an announcement: “Ladies and gentlemen we have an important weather announcement! IT IS RAINING!” That’s it, rain. It’s not like it was raining frogs or even raining men, just H2O but shoppers, fearing that we we’re all about to die went into looting mode and the cakes we’re the first to get ransacked. I think that when it rains everyone panics, assumes the end is near and says “I need to shove cake in face before the rapture”.

Anyway, hours later the land has dried and I still want cake so we take the two block walk to the coffee shop only to find that in the great panic of 1:00 PM the cakes had been gobbled up. So we walked a few blocks east down Melrose to find the next coffee shop to find the doors locked and the display case also barren of all things cake like, probably picked clean before puddles even formed in the streets by people forgoing their diets and kissing their loved ones goodbye between mouthfuls.

Two stops down and still without cake we turn back towards home but at this point we’re like post apocalyptic survivors (minus the requisite leather costumes) foraging for sweets so instead of heading home we head about six blocks west and then down Fairfax to the 24 hour diner/bakery where finally we found what we were looking for. However, as we were getting closer to the door I realized that we’d probably covered at least a mile of ground which made me mad because I hate it when I go out for cake and end up with exercise, next time we’re driving.