The Dara Torres Workout
Yesterday after jamming a fist full of shredded cheese in my mouth (like you’ve never done it) I head out in search of a big bouncy ball. I plan to use said ball as the cornerstone of my new commitment to fitness which I’m going to commit to here real soon.
So why the big bouncy ball?
It’s Dara Torres. Her physique has me in awe not to mention her swimming accomplishments during this 2008 Summer Olympics. I ask you how can a mother, a woman in her forties, be an Olympian? And more importantly how can she look so good in a bikini?
Several stories on the 41 year old Torres describe her workout and how she uses a big exercise ball. She lifts weights on the big ball, does sit ups on the big ball, and does push ups on the big ball. It’s clearly working. She’s in the best shape of anyone on the planet probably in better shape than aliens on other planets I’ll bet. As I observe Dara Torres’ cut abs it dawns on me that what my fitness routine has been missing (if I exercised you understand) is balls.
So I went to T.J. Maxx in search of an exercise ball. Because while I plan to change my life I am not about to do something nuts for a ball like pay retail. I am not the Mrs. Jed Clampetts thus I need to be sensible with my money. Smart shopper that I am I found an exercise ball for a mere $12.99 PLUS it came with a DVD AND a pump.
I marched up to the cash register toned abs in-a-box in hand and plunked down my money. As I paid, the nice lady checking me out seemed to really be checking me out. She kept looking at my chest.
“That will be $12.99 and you’ve got something on your busoms there.” She helpfully informed me and politely looked away. As she bagged the ball I looked down to find several pieces of shredded cheese stuck to my ample cleavage. I thanked the clerk, ran out to the parking lot with my ball, ducked into the car and flicked the shameful cheese off my busoms there.
For the love of Dara Torres I really need to get on the ball.
So here’s the question are the Olympic athletes inspiring you to get in shape? Or just eat more cheese?
I watch the winter olympics; I like the sports that you don’t need athleticism for… like curling. It inspires me to throw on a two piece snow suit and swifter dust my entire floor. Very dangerous sport, very dangerous indeed.
Nicoles last blog post..Fat Blog – Day 224
CHEEEEEESE! Answer me this–what is that big, hairy black thing on the shoulder of that sand volleyball player. It’s making me shy away from the sport I love so dearly.
Hey.. this is Kiki.
Nicole.. I agree.. I could be in an Olympics if the event was say… “disguising back fat.”
Judy…she had shoulder surgery and that’s a brace AND ther’es like Motrin in it or something. OR it’s a spider.
i love eating chees eon big bouncy balls. Nice work grabbing one for $13! That’s too funny that you got caught with cheese on your boobs while buying workout equiptment!
WeightingGames last blog post..5 Ways to Master Your Emotions
I have a fem-crush on the women’s volleyball team. Especially Misty May-Treanor. They had beach volleyball on while I was at the gym and simply looking at those women definitely made me push A LOT harder. If these girls are hot enough that the President is willing to take the ‘scandal’ of smacking these girls on the lower back, then I want their body! (note: I am not GWB fan otherwise.)
sweetsandsweats.wordpress.com
Fitzalans last blog post..Must motivate
Kiki, thanks for clearing that up for me. I guess now I can don my bikini and meet the neighbor ladies out back for a few games before cleaning some toilets.Such a life I lead!
Well, I’ve jammed worse things into my mouth before going out in public. (Wait…didn’t come out right).
I love my big bouncy ball! It’s great for stretching, too. Who knew? It also provides GREAT entertainment for small children, as my nieces and nephew will attest to. Every personal trainer would wince at how those kids use my big bouncy ball.
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Weighting Game – yeah.. I’m cool! Lord help me.I am proud of my mad bargain hunting skilz.
Fitz – did you see how the one lost her wedding ring?
Judy – I so think you should start a cul-de-sac sand volleyball league!
CD – me own teen is sitting on exercise ball right now while playing the XBOX 360!
Kikis last blog post..The Dara Torres Workout
Last night Michael Phelps said he eats 8000-10000 calories a day. Yes, I am aspiring to his diet.
noble pigs last blog post..A Tiny Addiction
I know! So all I have to do is become a world class swimmer and my diet is perfect. Also I need to be 6’5″
Kikis last blog post..The Dara Torres Workout
the “big, hairy black thing on the shoulder of that sand volleyball player” is like recovery tape. it send little doses of tylenol to her muscles & holds them together. she had surgery for the 2nd time i think.
elles last blog post..equestrian excellence
I so want one of those tape things now. But I want to be able to change what it’s dosing me.
Like on Fridays I want my spider tape to doese me up some Dacquiri.
Kikis last blog post..The Dara Torres Workout
Hahahahaha. AMEN.
elles last blog post..equestrian excellence
OMG at first glance I thought you were talking about Mark Antony’s (Mr. Jennifer Lopez’s husband) ex wife.
I am such an idiot.
(Heh. “Busoms.” Heh.)
maggie, dammits last blog post..the winds of change
GOD. Speaking of idiots. Seriously.
“Mr. Jennifer Lopez’s husband”
???
REALLY, MAGGIE?
Mr. Jennifer Lopez.
Jesus H.
Goodbye.
maggie, dammits last blog post..the winds of change
Hmm, I did Pilates for a little while, and we there a lot of the exercises had to do with big rubber balls like above, or little rubber balls (chi balls). But didn’t get much results from the Oilates to be honest. And then I gave up. I tend to do that if I don’t get results fairly quickly. And move on onto the next fitness craze.
ghetto princesss last blog post..Evil Blogger!!
“Yesterday after jamming a fist full of shredded cheese in my mouth (like you’ve never done it)”
Kiki…are you in my house?
And the Michael Phelps diet…don’t forget that along with the swimming constantly thing and being 6’5″…you also have to be MALE. Good thing you’re getting balls.
Shelleys last blog post..Does It Clean The House?
Those balls are, um, f-ing scary big. I like balls in
a more manageable size, if you know what I mean.
As for Dara Torres, I would love to swim like that.
You know forget about the years of training and hours
of practice. I just want to skip to the awesome swimming.
Kels last blog post..Lands of make believe
Gosh, if I was a professional athlete and had NOTHING TO DO ALL DAY BUT WORK OUT…
I might look something like them, too!
Oh – switch to string cheese. It won’t stick to your
bosom.
Wendys last blog post..I Don’t Want to Be the Mommy Today!
I’m scared I’m going to pop one of those big balls.
Lelos last blog post..Karolcooks gets down with her own bad self…
the best wedding ring is of course the very expensive diamond ring`.;
the best wedding ring is always diamond studded, girls really love diamonds that is for sure,;;
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