Cronus was the leader of the Titans of ancient Greece. He and his gigantic siblings were born of the Sky and Mother Earth. They were large and in charge. Cronus hated his children but as is the case with some men couldn’t give up impregnating his wife.  But the trouble with all these kids was a little phrophecy that a son of Cronus would over throw him. To thwart the prophecy Cronus swallowed his kids whole. Yep. Real nice and certainly a binging of epic proportions. Cronus swallowed Demeter, Hera, Hestia, Hades, Poseidon and little Kelsey. Wait was there a Kelsey?

Anyway finally the mother of all these kids Rhea decided enough was enough. She secretly gave birth to Zeus and instead handed Cronus a stone wrapped in a onesie. Dude will eat anything so it’s not like it was hard to fool him.  Cronus thought cool.. and swallowed the swaddled rock.

Meantime Zeus grew up in secret. Eventually he is able to get Cronus to swallow an emetic which is kind of like Castor Oil. (Again Cronus is fine with whatever you give him to shove down his Titan Hole.) The emetic forces Cronus to barf up all the kids he’d swallowed. Historians here at DTBMULF have discovered that ancient Greeks referred to this upchucking of kids.. Demeter, Hera, Hestia, Hades, and Poseidon as Primus Purgious…or  “The First Purge.”

Eventually Zeus went on to be King of the Greek Gods. And Cronus got hired as a greeter at the Greater Athens Area Supermart.

Flash forward to present day…. here at Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat? we’ve got a back-to-school prize to give away! Later today (August 27, 2008) at 9 p.m. Eastern Time we’ll reveal the prize and how you can win! So don’t forget to check back in for details. 

Disclaimer: Our legal staff would like us to mention that this is not an endorsement of a diet plan that would involve binging, purging, swallowing children, Greek Salad or back-to-school.