Evil Peanut M&M of Doom
Dear Person Who Runs My Department Office:
Hi!
I’m so happy to be back from a long summer break. I’m happy to see your smiling face, typing away. I’m not even annoyed anymore that despite three years of my walking into the office, cheerily saying good morning and giving you flowers at Christmas…you still ask me what my name is. It’s endearing, really. I view it as a sort of sit-comesque ritual of my day. Like Murphy Brown and her rotating secretaries. And thank you, thank you for making sure my new parking tag was waiting for me. Even if I had to ask you (politely) eight times (no joke).
But, most of all, thank you for the gift you left for all of us in our mail cubbies. That wonderful, shiny pack of peanut M&Ms.
Seriously.
Thank you.
I ate it in essentially three seconds. I had low-fat oatmeal for breakfast and had only brought a low carb power bar for lunch. Dandy.
Love,
Bitter Greta (with two ‘T’s)
Low fat oatmeal? Yikes! Go check to see if someone else didn’t eat their M&M’s in their mail cubbies!!
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We have some of these on the counter at our office. I walk by a couple of times a day and grab just 3 or 4 and eat them on the way back to my desk. I probably end up eating the equivalent of a whole packet of them every day. I’ll try to stay away in the future.
I love those little bastards. Perfect balance of sweet and salt.
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Damn those people and their M&Ms! You want to see the face of pure evil in this world? It’s people like that. Is she skinny? If so, then she’s just a bitch.
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