Why I Joined Weight Watchers This Weekend
Actual scene between Loser Husband (LH) and me…whilst getting ready for the (no joke) 11th family kid birthday party in the month of September (note to family members…quit having unprotected sex on New Year’s Eve!)
The Set Up: I have nothing to wear. My fat clothes are tight on me and it’s too depressing to buy bigger fat clothes. Plus, Value City closed and TJ Maxx is too confusing. My hair is awful and I’ve kept it long way too long because my husband hates short hair and my mother wants me to look like I was when I was sixteen…including my weight and it’s too confusing to argue. But…It’s all frizzy and haggy and I tried to put “benders” and then S Factor in it but it’s gone to crap. And the shorts/shirt I wanna wear were all cute back in July for vacation but now my butt looks pregnant in them and it’s too late to wear anything else because the laundry’s not done on account of the eleventy birthdays and work. I’m going for Elaine from the Last Season of Seinfeld w/ my hair but it’s turned into Elaine from Season 1 with a pregnant butt.
LH walks in…
LH: You look nice.
Me: F*&# you!
*********
Now, it’s Monday afternoon and I’ve had 9 points.
Aww, sugar – I’m sorry.
I don’t know the points system – is 9 a lot? It doesn’t sound like a lot…
I hope your evening improves.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryns last blog post..Mabon
Greta has great hair. We’re going to update the style though. If she cuts a few inches off she’ll lose 3 or 4 pounds easy!
Kikis last blog post..Why I Joined Weight Watchers This Weekend
awww…this almost made me cry. but seriously anything lately is making me cry. we love your pregnant butt! and your hair is easily changed, but i’m sure we would love that too! go greta!
natalies last blog post..Later
My husband was one of those that “loves it long” – I finally had enough and cut the crap off. It felt like I lost 10 lbs that day!!!
Sorry. We just like long hair. No rational explanation for it.
Charlie Hillss last blog post..What’s Really Amazing
I &*^*&^%% hate weight watchers. I have never gained so fast since I joined. I wish they would tell me to gain weight, then I would lose it to spite them.
Dude, Dadisodes is quite familiar with that response too
p.s. Holiday party-time really is the prime time for baby-making. Aug-Sept was NUTS while I worked in a newborn unit.
Momisodess last blog post..Filler
I feel your pain! I refuse to buy fatter fat clothes! I have started tracking every scrap of food that goes into my mouth again in hopes of a miracle!!
Good luck!
perpstus last blog post..MBTBM – In the Beginning
This cracked me up! I’ve had these conversations, too. Poor Hubby. He thinks he’s doin’ the right thing, he’s tryin’! When I think about why guys like long hair, I feel like saying, “When I start pole dancing, I’ll grow my hair out.”
StephanyWs last blog post..Upping Your 4-yr-old’s Cool Quotient With a Killer Birthday Party