Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur

26

Feel free to print the letter below and circle the items that apply to your workplace! 

Dear (co-worker/supervisor/boss/assistant),

I am sure you’ve noticed that I have (struggled with weight my whole life/just had a baby/am retaining water for many people/drink too many beers). Recently I have begun to (crash diet/count calories/reduce carbs/adopt a healthy lifestyle) in attempt to (lose a few pounds/fit into my old prom dress/become smoking hot/lower my risk of a massive heart attack).

I have noticed that you enjoy (baking/bringing in band candy/celebrating even those most minuscule holidays). I would appreciate if you would stop putting treats (on my desk/next to my cubicle/on my computer monitor/in my face). You certainly have every right to bring these items to work but please put them in the break room. This way I can avoid the temptation and you can continue to enjoy bringing in treats.

cubicleIn addition, after I decline your food items please desist from announcing loudly to the (entire office/free world) that  (one piece won’t hurt/I am on another crazy diet/you knew I couldn’t resist).

Your actions when I decline your food indicate that you (are jealous of my success/want me to continue to ignore my health/are a jackbag).

I enjoy our working relationship and hope that it continues productively, however if you persist in sabotaging my efforts I will get a safety pin and poke the voodoo doll  of you I keep in my (purse/briefcase) in its (butt/eye/big toe).  This shouldn’t surprise you as you always knew I couldn’t resist.

Warmly,

The Dieter

Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur Printable Version

photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/timpatterson/



Comments

26 Responses to “Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur”
  1. MizFit says:

    I LOVE IT.
    It’s like madlibs only Im older and know more nasty words.

    MizFits last blog post..Tuesday Tips, TestDrive & a Twirl (at your request a twirl).

  2. Kiki says:

    Thank you everso MizFit. It’s our first printable!

    Kikis last blog post..Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur

  3. Carol says:

    I could’ve used this one yesterday, when one of my co-workers brought in brownies!

    Carols last blog post..Saying Goodbye to Me

  4. I can’t believe I’ve lived this long and have never heard the word “jackbag”. I am now going to bring this word into full rotation.

    Charlie Hillss last blog post..Low Cal Honey

  5. Lori says:

    This is great! I’ve never heard jackbag either, but found it hilarious. I can resist the afternoon treats. It is the freakin’ donuts when I missed breakfast that get me every time.

    Loris last blog post..Goiaba

  6. furiousball says:

    they found snow on mars

    furiousballs last blog post..beat poets and beaten birds

  7. Photoqueen says:

    Too funny! Especially today, as we’re celebrating a co-worker’s retirement with an official Day o’Grazing.

    Photoqueens last blog post..Stick It. Stick It Good.

  8. That is a thing of beauty.

  9. Christie says:

    Love the letter! Could you work up one for my family, as I’m a SAHM? They’re not fully on-board with my weight loss. If it came from you maybe they’d listen. (I know they’d laugh!)

  10. Sharon says:

    I LOVE it when they announce to the whole building you’re dieting or they just keeeeep on…”You sure you don’t want any?” Some people cain’t leave well enough aloooone.

  11. I love it! I have worked with so many people like this.

    Stacie Haight Connertys last blog post..Say Aloha to Hawaii Family Travel

  12. GretaKiki says:

    Carol – Just print it for future reference!
    Charlie – Enjoy!
    Lori – Evil dough-nuts
    furious – That’s it I’m not moving there now.
    Photoqueen – Day o’Grazing is just meanspirited.
    TheCottonWife – Awe shucks.
    Christie – Later this week sound good?
    Sharon – Yeah..it’s like do you need a bullhorn?
    Stacie – I’m glad it’s not just me. Darn Saboteurs!!

    Love,Kiki

  13. so here’s what my letter is like:

    Dear self

    Why do you buy things you know you will all of in one night!?

    Kindly never enter the cookie aisle again.

    Love

    Kelly Turner
    http://www.groundedfitness.com

  14. Oh, that’s a good letter. I’d need to give it to myself since I am not gainfully employed.

    jennyonthespots last blog post..Looking for input… who’s got an opinion?

  15. Dang it. It’s now 11:15 pm my time and I just realized I didn’t get to use ‘jackbag’ all day.

    I’m putting it on a post-it note for tomorrow.

    Charlie Hillss last blog post..Low Cal Honey

  16. Just Kelly says:

    LOVE IT! PRINTING IT! LEAVING IT IN THE BREAK ROOM!

    At my last job, I was on the “Celebration Committee” (it wasn’t a choice, I was forced… celebrate that!). Our company had 2-3 special activities each month that were always punctuated with cake, cookies, brownies, sugary drinks, and candy. When it came time to have one on one meetings with our supervisors I brought up the suggestion of having healthier fare or more activity oriented celebrations instead of food. Well my supervisor (who was the supervisor of the celebration committee) forgot I suggested it and mocked the suggestion at our next meeting. I was pissed but of course I didn’t say anything. With 80% of our work force probably being morbidly obese I thought it was a good suggestion, but I guess she thought I was raining on her cake parade.

    Now I work at a state healthcare organization. Lately we had three ice cream socials… in ONE week. Seriously. A health care organization.

    I skipped them all.

    Just Kellys last blog post..Ovarian Cancer Month

  17. Meg says:

    Heh, this is just the thing I need to post up in my
    workspace. It is brilliant, hopefully it’ll work too ^_^

    -Meg

    Megs last blog post..Small gains

  18. Alma Branch says:

    cwltf1kwecbf3sz3

  19. Melissa says:

    I love this! Makes me wish I still worked in an office so I could print it and post it somewhere!

  20. I found your site on google, great site, keep it up. Will return in the future. Submitted this post to Google News Reader.

  21. Marilyn says:

    Ok. This is sad. If you are on Marilyn’s Plan then no one and I mean No One will know you are trying to lose weight. You will not be weighing and measuring your food and if some dirkbag puts a treat on your desk then eat it. You will be able to work it out from there on Marilyn’s Plan for Weight Loss. I find this extremely funny because when I lost all my weight, the women at my little girls school basically turned their backs on me. They were getting fatter and I am now thin. I lost all my weight within a couple of months. It was soooo easy. I discovered this Plan and put pen to paper in the hope that I could help others with the most simple and easy weight loss Plan. Go on. Try Marilyn’s Plan for Weight Loss. It’s sooooo easy.

  22. collect bag says:

    I found your site on google, great site, keep it up. Will return in the future. Submitted this post to Google News Reader.

  23. You wouldn’t believe it but I have lost all day looking for some info about this. Thanks for this, it was a wonderful read and really helped me out. this is my site by the way (if you are interested) – <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Christmas-Songs-For-Children—Groove-King-Senseless

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