Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur
Feel free to print the letter below and circle the items that apply to your workplace!
Dear (co-worker/supervisor/boss/assistant),
I am sure you’ve noticed that I have (struggled with weight my whole life/just had a baby/am retaining water for many people/drink too many beers). Recently I have begun to (crash diet/count calories/reduce carbs/adopt a healthy lifestyle) in attempt to (lose a few pounds/fit into my old prom dress/become smoking hot/lower my risk of a massive heart attack).
I have noticed that you enjoy (baking/bringing in band candy/celebrating even those most minuscule holidays). I would appreciate if you would stop putting treats (on my desk/next to my cubicle/on my computer monitor/in my face). You certainly have every right to bring these items to work but please put them in the break room. This way I can avoid the temptation and you can continue to enjoy bringing in treats.
In addition, after I decline your food items please desist from announcing loudly to the (entire office/free world) that (one piece won’t hurt/I am on another crazy diet/you knew I couldn’t resist).
Your actions when I decline your food indicate that you (are jealous of my success/want me to continue to ignore my health/are a jackbag).
I enjoy our working relationship and hope that it continues productively, however if you persist in sabotaging my efforts I will get a safety pin and poke the voodoo doll of you I keep in my (purse/briefcase) in its (butt/eye/big toe). This shouldn’t surprise you as you always knew I couldn’t resist.
Warmly,
The Dieter
Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur Printable Version
photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/timpatterson/
I LOVE IT.
It’s like madlibs only Im older and know more nasty words.
MizFits last blog post..Tuesday Tips, TestDrive & a Twirl (at your request a twirl).
Thank you everso MizFit. It’s our first printable!
Kikis last blog post..Letter to the Office Diet Saboteur
I could’ve used this one yesterday, when one of my co-workers brought in brownies!
Carols last blog post..Saying Goodbye to Me
I can’t believe I’ve lived this long and have never heard the word “jackbag”. I am now going to bring this word into full rotation.
Charlie Hillss last blog post..Low Cal Honey
This is great! I’ve never heard jackbag either, but found it hilarious. I can resist the afternoon treats. It is the freakin’ donuts when I missed breakfast that get me every time.
Loris last blog post..Goiaba
they found snow on mars
furiousballs last blog post..beat poets and beaten birds
Too funny! Especially today, as we’re celebrating a co-worker’s retirement with an official Day o’Grazing.
Photoqueens last blog post..Stick It. Stick It Good.
That is a thing of beauty.
Love the letter! Could you work up one for my family, as I’m a SAHM? They’re not fully on-board with my weight loss. If it came from you maybe they’d listen. (I know they’d laugh!)
I LOVE it when they announce to the whole building you’re dieting or they just keeeeep on…”You sure you don’t want any?” Some people cain’t leave well enough aloooone.
I love it! I have worked with so many people like this.
Stacie Haight Connertys last blog post..Say Aloha to Hawaii Family Travel
Carol – Just print it for future reference!
Charlie – Enjoy!
Lori – Evil dough-nuts
furious – That’s it I’m not moving there now.
Photoqueen – Day o’Grazing is just meanspirited.
TheCottonWife – Awe shucks.
Christie – Later this week sound good?
Sharon – Yeah..it’s like do you need a bullhorn?
Stacie – I’m glad it’s not just me. Darn Saboteurs!!
Love,Kiki
so here’s what my letter is like:
Dear self
Why do you buy things you know you will all of in one night!?
Kindly never enter the cookie aisle again.
Love
Kelly Turner
http://www.groundedfitness.com
Oh, that’s a good letter. I’d need to give it to myself since I am not gainfully employed.
jennyonthespots last blog post..Looking for input… who’s got an opinion?
Dang it. It’s now 11:15 pm my time and I just realized I didn’t get to use ‘jackbag’ all day.
I’m putting it on a post-it note for tomorrow.
Charlie Hillss last blog post..Low Cal Honey
LOVE IT! PRINTING IT! LEAVING IT IN THE BREAK ROOM!
At my last job, I was on the “Celebration Committee” (it wasn’t a choice, I was forced… celebrate that!). Our company had 2-3 special activities each month that were always punctuated with cake, cookies, brownies, sugary drinks, and candy. When it came time to have one on one meetings with our supervisors I brought up the suggestion of having healthier fare or more activity oriented celebrations instead of food. Well my supervisor (who was the supervisor of the celebration committee) forgot I suggested it and mocked the suggestion at our next meeting. I was pissed but of course I didn’t say anything. With 80% of our work force probably being morbidly obese I thought it was a good suggestion, but I guess she thought I was raining on her cake parade.
Now I work at a state healthcare organization. Lately we had three ice cream socials… in ONE week. Seriously. A health care organization.
I skipped them all.
Just Kellys last blog post..Ovarian Cancer Month
Adding “jackbag” to my list.
Tootsie Farklepantss last blog post..Excuse Me While I Slip a Sudden Intuitive Realization into Your Tuesday Morning
Heh, this is just the thing I need to post up in my
workspace. It is brilliant, hopefully it’ll work too ^_^
-Meg
Megs last blog post..Small gains
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I love this! Makes me wish I still worked in an office so I could print it and post it somewhere!
I found your site on google, great site, keep it up. Will return in the future. Submitted this post to Google News Reader.
Ok. This is sad. If you are on Marilyn’s Plan then no one and I mean No One will know you are trying to lose weight. You will not be weighing and measuring your food and if some dirkbag puts a treat on your desk then eat it. You will be able to work it out from there on Marilyn’s Plan for Weight Loss. I find this extremely funny because when I lost all my weight, the women at my little girls school basically turned their backs on me. They were getting fatter and I am now thin. I lost all my weight within a couple of months. It was soooo easy. I discovered this Plan and put pen to paper in the hope that I could help others with the most simple and easy weight loss Plan. Go on. Try Marilyn’s Plan for Weight Loss. It’s sooooo easy.
I found your site on google, great site, keep it up. Will return in the future. Submitted this post to Google News Reader.
You wouldn’t believe it but I have lost all day looking for some info about this. Thanks for this, it was a wonderful read and really helped me out. this is my site by the way (if you are interested) – <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Christmas-Songs-For-Children—Groove-King-Senseless