Snort Your Way to a Thinner You…Redux and Off the Wagon
I posted this a few months ago. Shortly after, I broke the below described addiction. It is back. With a vengeance. In fairness, it’s not my fault. I caught a wicked cold and followed up w/ a sinus infection. What was I supposed to do??
Over the past 2 years, I’ve been struggling to overcome an addiction to Nasal Spray. That’s right. I said it. Sinex, you have made me your beyotch. It was no-brand afrin at first. Once a day. Soon, it wasn’t enough. I had to upgrade to the hard stuff. Sinex, twelve-hour menthol with the fine mist pump.
Not the squeeze bottles. Those are for pussies. I can stop anytime I want. But, I always go back.
I’m not going to feel bad about it anymore. It’s out in the open. Soon, I will take the next step toward drug free breathing.
Then I looked at the bottle. Do you know how sinex works? It’s got some thinga-ma-hooey in it that shrinks the membranes (or blood vessels) in your nose. Wait a minute. Shrinks stuff???? Hold the phone scientists. I’ll take my million dollars now. Seriously. I don’t need to quit Sinex. I need them to make more of it. Think of it. Full body Sinex. We could snort it or drink it, hell take a bath in it. Our entire bodies would shrink. I’m pretty sure I remember a Mork & Mindy with this exact plot. Who’s with me?
I have heard of another thing that you snort that reduces weight, and apparently it melts away those pesky nasal membranes and gives you the willpower to scratch off all your skin.
Cause that is a good look…
Sinex to lose weight, that’s a new one I’m willing to try!
Im stuck on the almostPINUP picture.
that would make a nice tattoo
a smidge Winehouse for my taste but I could tweak it….
Sounds like a plan to me! It may fall into the same catagory as those old sweat tank thingies.
I must say, you never fail to make me feel normal Greta! LOL I thought I was the only trazodonite that stayed on the computer until the medication COMPLETELY zoned me out. Now I know I’m in good company. We need a late night DTBMULF chat room!! I’m laughing now thinking of the drug induced convos we could have.
Oooh…Also, I updated above, but I feel the need for overkill. About Mork & Mindy…
http://www.tv.com/mork-and-mindy/mork-in-wonderland-1/episode/29183/summary.html?tag=ep_list;ep_title;0
Also, I agree about the Winehouse-edness. I knew there was a joke in there somewhere but the drugs were making me loopy.
that cartoon girl has an odd posture to her… i’m tempted to photoshop a cop handcuffing her
I’ve gotta hear what type of google searches, brought people to this post!! You have to share with us…PLEASE! I have never tried a nasal spray…I don’t know why, since I am always stuffy! And you know I will try practically anything to lose weight.
btw: “Not the squeeze bottles. Those are for pussies.” ~ LMAO pure gold!
I’ll try anything once.
That’s what they said about coke too. And meth.
It’s alll fun and games until someone loses a mouthful of teeth.
Kirstie Alley snorted her way to thinness in the 80s when coke was cheap–but look how that’s worked out in the long run.I still want to try it, though.
I CANNOT believe you admitted to a nasal spray addiction!
That is the ONE THING I SWORE I’d never blog about! Well, I’ll blog about it on YOUR blog. Been addicted to Afrin (haven’t moved up to the menthol stuff) for YEARS!) And, hes both I and friend jules, whose also heavily addicted have pondered why o why if it could shrink one set of tissues, did it not do it to all the other needs shrinking tissues??? Does this sound fair to anyone???
Must go now – lost my Afrin bottle and cannot possibly go the entire night without it!
Yes, I know. That’s disturbing.
Ok, since there are other people admitting what I never thought I’d admit in public…I also am addicted to nasal spray. I use the Target brand though, because it’s much cheaper than Afrin and works the same.
Actually, I like to think that I’m addicting to breathing. You see, I breathe through my nose. And if I can’t breathe through my nose, I feel like I’m not getting enough air. Unfortunately, those warnings on the bottles are right; if you use it for more than three days it causes a rebound effect. I blame my father…he got me started on Neo Synephrin when I was a teenager. I had a cold, or allergies or something, and he’s all, here, try this…and viola, I could breathe again. There’s something addicting about breathing. I just wish that after it shrinks the tissue, it didn’t swell it all up again 8 hours later. It’s like crack, I tell you. If you could get skinny by snorting nasal spray, I’d be Lara Flynn Boyle right now. So I’m sorry to burst that particular bubble.
Yes, but have you tried bathing or showering in it? I think not.
I did not know so many people were addicted to nasal
spray. WHAT?? I think I took what my mama used to tell
me about sticking stuff up nose way literally, because I
react to nose spray like Rachel did on “Friends” to eye
drops.
However, if it makes me skinny and doesn’t make a hole
in my septum like it did Stevie Nicks, well, sign me up,
Sista!!
Er…um…I don’t think it was nasal spray that ate it’s whay through Stevie’s nose. That said. Coinkidink!!!! DH is working the Stevie Nix concert tonight. Me = jealous!!!
Greta,
I have not tried bathing in it. I see the logic…it may shrink my whole body. Problem is that it would just swell back up again 8 hours later. But I’d be skinny for 8 hours. Excuse me, I’m going to go buy a case of nasal spray for my bath.
Greta,
I have not tried bathing in it. I see the logic…it may shrink my whole body. Problem is that it would just swell back up again 8 hours later. But I’d be skinny for 8 hours. Excuse me, I’m going to go buy a case of nasal spray for my bath.
Stevie Nicks and I have the same birthday, May 26th. But she’s older than I am. Just thought you’d like that little bit of trivia there.
Shit, I hate when I double post.
Around my house nasal spray is known as ‘nose candy’
my husband has a bottle of sinex within 3 steps of where ever he is. A friend of ours actually has nightmares that he is bedbound and no one will bring him nasal spray! Hopefully, they won’t lock the nasal sprays up behind the pharmacy like they did to sudafed. I feel like a criminal when I have to get that stuff!
Dude, people are huffing nasal spray now? Lordy
.
Now I have Grandmaster Flash’s “White Lines” stuck in my head… Right in time for my staff meeting.
“And what have you been working on this week, Liz?”
Blurts: “A million magic crystals, painted pure and whiteA A multi-million dollars almost overnight
Twice as sweet as sugar, twice as bitter as salt
And if you get hooked, baby, it’s nobody else’s fault, so don’t do it!!!”
Liz Turtles last blog post..First Info on New Weight Watchers Plan: Momentum!
Hey – me too – I am totally addicted to breathing. Through my nose. Except for 8 weeks in the Spring when the slutty oak trees stuff me with pollen and then I breathe through my ears mostly. (I could teach you…)
Nasal spray rebound is a bitch, no question. I’ll stick to pseudo-fed when I need to breathe and just grind my teeth. Will that make me look thinner?
Debs last blog post..Wrap It Up!