A study by Vanderbilt University (properly sited below) concluded that aggressive behavior functions in the brain like sex, food and drugs. Friends we now finally have the research to show why we want to beat the unholy bat crap out of someone if denied our afternoon vending machine love.

First the study: Essentially a pair of mice, one male, whom we’ll call Ben, and one female, whom we’ll call Trixie, were kept in a cage together. In mice circles this is considered married. Next door researchers installed “intruder” mice in their own cage. So that’s the set up.

Here’s the Vanderbilt Experiment:The Vanderbilt scientists removed Trixie and replaced her with an “intruder.” The scientists observed that faced with this situation Ben went medieval. Even though Trixie can be a nag, she is his Trixie after-all. Obviously mice can’t talk but the scientists reported that they “observed an aggressive response” in Ben. Dude did things like rattled his tale, “stood aggressively sideways” (this is apparently a butch thing to do if you’re a mouse, stand aggressively sideways), and also laid some boxing and biting on the “intruders.”

Now Comes Some Training:Don’t ask me how they trained the mice. I can’t train my hair to part on the other side but they trained Ben. First they provoke Ben by switching out his woman for jackass neighbors, then they train him to poke a target when he wants the “intruder” to come back. You think he’d not poke the target right? Because every time the “intruder” comes back there’s drama. But no, Ben keeps poking the target, Ben inviting the “intruders” to get into it. Essentially Ben keeps asking for it.

Now the Switcheroo:After Ben’s all trained and fighty the scientists block Ben’s dopamine receptors. (Dopamine is the chemical your body releases when Krispy Kremes, sex, or say really good french onion dip comes into your life.) After Ben the Mouse’s dopamine receptors are blocked he doesn’t appear to give a rat’s about instigating a rumble with the “intruders.” He no longer “calls them out” by poking the target. Ben is chill. When Ben’s itsy bitsy mouse dopamine receptors are disabled it appears he doesn’t need to get jacked up on aggression anymore. The fun’s gone out of taking the “intruders” to school.

So What Does this Have to do with Dieting? Essentially we want our dopamine. It feels good when our receptors are sluicing around in happy juice. So, stay with me here, if you deprive yourself of chocolate, you still crave the dopamine. And since now we know from Ben’s behavior, that aggression also releases dopamine we decide to start sumthin’. Yeah, you heard me tramp. And your mother too. What are you goin’ to do about it. Oh sorry, I’m on a diet. Punk.

Vanderbilt University (2008, January 15). Aggression As Rewarding As Sex, Food And Drugs, New Research Shows. ScienceDaily. Also see We’re Not a Doctor

Originally posted 3-17-08