Since it’s only been 20 days into the new year we can’t all be expected to be at our fitness and weight goals by Inauguration Day. If you are attending the swearing in, the parade, and the Inaugural Balls here’s an Inauguration Fashion Checklist for the Dieter.

Swearing In and Parade: 
Hallelujah sister this is our event!
A big long coat hides everything. 
Blame any post-holiday lumpiness on layers and thermal underwear.

Inaugural Ball Gown:
Empire Waist (Der. Hides your gut.)
Spanx (Der. Hides your gut.)
Turtle Neck (If recent census figures tally more than one chin get an evening gown that comes up to your lower lip.)
Long Sleeves (Until your arms get as toned as The First Lady’s cover ‘em and don’t wave.)

Red, Not White, and Blue:
If you can’t hide it paint it red or blue. In other words we want to see vibrant colors for your Inauguration wardrobe. But why not white, you ask? White makes you look Large Marge. Unless you can find a place along the parade route in front of a snow bank avoid white or off-white ensembles. Also consider sequins, we love sparkly things, and they confuse the eye.

Food and Water:
You’re going to want a handy little snack in your tasteful-Secret Service-scanned bag. With the throng of citzenry converging on Washington D.C. expect ridiculous lines at the drive-thru or the fancy ball buffet. With that in mind skip the eight glasses of water for the day. ‘Nuff said.

Happy Inauguration Day!