Eyeball Confuser Bathing Suit and Magic Cornea Beach Towel®
Diet not going exactly right? Still concerned about wearing a bathing suit on the beach for Spring Break, even in the backyard? First up get yo’self a spray tan. Then pair that fabulous fat obscuring spray tan with The Eyeball Confusing Bathing Suit and Magic Cornea Beach Towel!®
The whacked out stripes create confusion in the minds of all who view this bathing suit. Here’s the Science – When the naked eye sees the stripes it tosses the visual cues like a salad. The observer questions their very existence. One asks oneself – is that human mid-section? Is that a fat roll? Is that a white stripe or a black stripe? You’ll hear people exclaim – I like your bathing suit?
In addition to confusing other poolside vacationers you’re fairly safe near sharks with thesse two amazing products. Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom may have mentioned once in the 1970s that sharks get muddled when they observe striped sea life. So Voila! One garment renders you safe from sharks AND judgement.
DISCLAIMER TO BE READ IN SUPERFAST ANOUNCER VOICE – The Eyeball Confuser Bathing Suit and Magic Cornea Beach Towel® should not be considered a healthy lifestyle plan. Those prone to headaches should consult with a doctor before viewing The Eyeball Confuser Bathing Suit and Magic Cornea Beach Towel®. The Eyeball Confuser and Magic Cornea Beach Towel® is a substitute for actual fitness but will not lower cholesteral. Discontinue use of you experience a burning sensation.