How to Get Man Hands in 3 Easy Steps

17

Status Report: Hi, your faithful blogger Robin here. I’m on my 4th day post-Atkins induction. I lost 4.5/5 lbs in the 1st two week. I’m now up to about 30-40 carbs a day. We’ll see how long I can last. I will need a rebound intervention in about a month.

In the meantime…I dug out this hold chesnut because classic never goes out of style.

HOW TO GET MAN HANDS IN THREE EASY STEPS

Step #1: Be young, nubile, weigh 108 pounds on your wedding day (for maximum assholery, silently cry about it because your goal was 105)

Young Hands2

Step #2: Add fertility drugs, 2 pregnancies, lots of honeybuns and yo yo dieting

Step #3: Add 13 years

Voila!

 Hands 002

Robin(still seriously bitter about having to get her rings resized just in time for her 13th wedding anniversary last year. Happy nearly 14th honey! This year I have to get my necklaces resized.)

P.S. If you want to see how my man hands post turned bizarro, click here.



Comments

17 Responses to “How to Get Man Hands in 3 Easy Steps”
  1. My dears, you are not alone. Not by a long shot.

  2. noble pig says:

    Stop! Your hand looks great!

  3. But look at that rock!!

  4. Mama Zen says:

    “Maximum assholery!” I’m stealing that!

  5. Greta says:

    Thanks NP. I hate my knuckles. Also, it doesn’t show up on the photo, but I have dozens of little scars from well…I call them laundry injuries. Scraping them on the drawers etc.

    Also…I totally think I see a smiley face in the wrinkles of the middle knuckle on my middle finger. It looks like Wilson from Castaway.

  6. Nicole says:

    Or you can skip pregnancy, fertility drugs and 13 years and go my route… spend a meager 2 years, at a less than nubile 160 pounds, breaking 2′ pine with your bare knuckles and box with large men.

  7. How to get cankles in one easy step:
    1) Be born into a family full of cankle-havers.

    It’s that easy! I did it without even trying.

    But seriously, happy 13th anniversary -that’s wonderful! And your hands look great :-)

  8. Gail says:

    Just found your blog through The Bloggess. Awesomeness.

    I can totally relate to the ring sizing thing – had mine
    done recently for my 18th anniversary. Your hands aren’t like at all like manhands. I know because tonight they aired the Seinfeld episode about Jerry’s Manhands girlfriend. Trust me, yours are fine! :)

    Gails last blog post..Mile 3

  9. Traci in GA says:

    I confess, I refuse to have my rings resized…yet… Always hopeful. For my 11 yr. anniversary ( pregnant with baby #2) I had to quit wearing my rings and haven’t gotten them on since IF husband ever notices, I’m going to tell him the old ones don’t fit anymore and I need to buy new ones!

    Love the blog, fun-ny stuff!

    Traci in GAs last blog post..Alex and Papaw

  10. I love it great info……… :)

    http://underground-secret.com/

    Pioneer Avic Bypass D3 D2 F90BT F900BT F700BT Z3

  11. BodyTrimDiet says:

    If you could see my hands you would not complain! I took my rings off 10 years ago! :) P.S. I love your site!

  12. Soggybottom says:

    whoopee!!! just stumbled into this site—so glad i’m not the only one trying to find my wedding rings on the “sausage links” that used to reesemble actual fingers

  13. Carla says:

    Hi there. I just had to let you know that your comment about your knuckle looking like Wilson from Castaway has had me laughing for the last 20 mins!!!

    Thank you. I really needed something to perk me up today.

    Love your site!!!

  14. MTeMedia says:

    hey there man

    great post i love it… check my website you might like it ;)

  15. Thanks for the articles!

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