On Father’s Day, after several weeks of angelically eating only good carbohydrates, I experienced multiple carbgasms. My personal Hunger Monster won. Below is a refresher on the definition of carbgasm.
Today I am submitting a new word: Remorsel – feeling of guilt after engaging in carbgasms. “Bertha is filled with remorsel after the the birthday party yesterday.”
burglarfries– The car French fries eaten on the way home from the drive-thru.
carbgasm– The sensation experienced when one breaks with a no-carbohydrate diet. Moaning often accompanies a carbgasm.
cudge– The chunka under your actual chin
flabulous– Compliment given to person successfully disguising fat rolls. As in “You look flabulous in that kaftan.”
hexercise– A curse hurled at exercise equipment by a coven of witches.
fwad– Fat wads, as in “This sports bra has increased the number of fwads on my back.”
fwap– Sound generated by several fwads (see above) rubbing together.
special dispensation – The phenomenon granted by special papal decree whereby all items dispensed from a vending machine are calorie free
squinching – The secret clenching associated with trying not to cut one during yoga
vanity pounds – The last ten pounds before goal.
Apollonia pounds -Measured in Keteras
Dtbmulf – Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat? (pronounced dit-be-mulf)
Dtbmulfer – Friends of Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat?
Dtbmulf Man – Any man who answers no to the question “Does this (insert any noun) make me look fat?”