As you know we believe a good tan makes you look thinner. Tan fan looks better than white fat – it’s a rock solid principle. A little color can make you look like you lost ten pounds.

However in the interest of not killing our readers we feel it’s important to remind you we’re big proponents of the spray tan. We highly recommend it. However self-tanning cream is also a good option. In light of recent warnings against tanning beds here are a few pointers on using self-creaming tanners, er self-tanning creams.

1. Price is not a factor – we’ve had good tanning cream that’s cheap AND bad stuff that’s expensive.
2. Mix it up. Use one kind one day and another brand another day. Seriously it works better if you use  a combo of tanners.
3. Be meticulous. White stipes on the back side of your thighs and calves is not the look you want. (You might be a cougar but you really don’t want to look like a tiger. It sounds sexy but it isn’t.)
4. After you slather it on get a wet tissue and sub your elbows, heals, and inner forearms. Trust us – otherwise you’ll look odd.
5.Even if you’re not planning to show your mid-drift of go backless right now you should still fake tan your tummy and back. You’ll be surprised how it makes you feel about your squishy parts. (Better, you’ll feel better.)
6. Finally buy yourself a finger nail brush and use it on your palms and finger “webbing.” If you don’t do this get used to funny looks and concern from medical professionals that your kidneys are shutting down.
7. Ignore some research. See there’s a theory that lotions make you fat. We’ve chosen to ignore this.