I {state your name} do solemnly swear to re-commit to a healthy lifestyle on the Monday, August 31, 2009. I {state your name} do freely admit without shame that I have forthwith ruined the progess I made in the first minutes of the spring/summer/yesterday. When I resolved to be healthy and pledged Not Another Fat Summer !

It is now with a realistic and mostly sober countenance that I greet the cold/hot/tepid  light of Monday, August 31, in the Year of Our Lard 2009. I affirm that there are only 61 days until Halloween Weekend.  As all people living or dead are aware Halloween Weekend is the traditional kick-off to Gain Five Pounds A Month Tri-month Festival.

Being fully aware of above inalienable truths AND to pre-emptively head off the  Gain Five Pounds A Month Tri-Month Festival I {state your name} promise the following:

1. Thou Shalt log all things living or dead that enter my mouth.
2. Thou shalt not purchase nor bake cookies/cakes/candies/frosting tubs/doughnuts/ice cream.
3. I will chooseth fruit and gum or sugar free jello when cookies/cakes/candies/frosting tubs/doughnuts/ice cream tempt thee.
4. Thou shalt consume 3-5 servings of vegetables a day.
5. Buy Beeno. (Shalt yes!)
6. Reduce by 1/2 the Soda Pop I now consumeth.
7. Ignore the free food in the conference room.
8. Replace smooshy tasty bread with whole wheat rough grains.
9. Drink 6 eight-once glasses of water a day and limit the mead. (That’s the alcohol not the paper products.)
10. Scope out of the ladies rooms of every location in all Christendom.
11. Endeavor to journey 10-12,000 steps per day.
12. Do aerobic activity (bike/run/treadmill/stairs) twice weekly.
13. Do anaerobic (muscle building) activities such as Pilates/Yoga/Weight training thrice weekly.
14. Stand up straight.
15. Silently pat myself on the back-fat for at least one positive thing a day.
16. Buy a new frock at THIS size that I think I look nice in.
17. Organize closet and pantry and further resolve that the closet and pantry will never look like the crazy hording Oprah topic again.
18. Encourage another person once a day.
19. Sleep at least 6 hours in a row before each ‘morrow.

I {state your name} do swear and recommit to becoming smoking/smoldering/tepid hot by Halloween. If I fail to honor this commitment it is understood that the other villagers won’t be surprised. And being of small mind I want the other villagers to be jealous.

So it is blogged.. so it shall be done.