One of the ways I earn my money here at DTBMULF is to scour the internets looking for the most up to date diet and nutrition news from around the world and bring it here to you. As I’ve detailed, it’s it involves me typing stuff like, “I need a blog topic or Rebecca’s going to strangle me with her My Shape tape… also, I’m fat! into Google a highly scientific process.

Well, the UK (I think that’s in one of those countries that used to be Russia) is reporting on a Swedish study about something called the “Caveman Diet.”

Naturally, I was intrigued. I’ve never tried to eat a caveman before. They must be more flavorful than belly button lint or those Cadbury egg thingies, right?

Well, apparently the diet calls for you to eat like a caveman. Berries, fish, vegetables, dirt, dinosaurs? (Not sure on that last one). Apparently also, doing this might be good for your heart.

See, now I think there’s a flaw in their research  methodology. I assume that the people who ate this food did not also live in a cave. I could be wrong. I propose they do a study whereby the subjects agree to eat and live like a caveman. It would go like this:

1. Eat berries

2. Eat more berries

3. Poop alot (hey, I watch Survivor!)

4. Get chased by woolly mammoths

5. Get chased by pterodactyls

6. Work out plan (for men…run away from pterodactyls, drag a woman by her hair…it’s good for your quads and delts) (for women, gather berries, get dragged by your hair…it’s good for your gluts and shoulders…also your hair)

6. Run away from Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach

7. Eat berries (wait…my numbering is off, flarg it…I don’t think cavemen can add or do bullet points)

8 (or 9). Step on a scale and see if you’ve lost weight and if your cholestrol has improved.

I’m pretty sure I’d look like Ringo Starr after a couple of weeks on the Caveman Diet (‘cuz I don’t think Cavemen had razors, nair, tweezers or S Factor products). Also, my lips would be wicked chapped ‘cuz I’m addicted to lip balm (whole nutha’ blog topic people).

P.S. I totally wanted to include a clip from Laverne & Shirley. The one where the girls get jobs as stunt cave women in a Troy Donahue movie. I couldn’t find it.