Taking a page from my Catholic school days, where you have your Holy Days of Obligation, I think some sort of Holy  Days of Diet Absolution are in order.

Holy  Days of Diet Absolution – And Their Historical Significance
Thanksgiving –  In 1621 Squanto teaches the Pilgrims that Turkey is great eats.
Christmas Eve – The night before Christmas and all through the house. I can’t rhyme shrimp cocktail with anything in the classic poem. But that’s what I’m having.
Christmas – It’s a birthday after all.
New Year’s Eve – Best to couple the drinking with some eating. This isn’t cheating on the diet it’s just plain smart.
New Year’s Day – All resolutions start on January 2nd according to the old Gregorian Calendar system. Unless that day is not a Monday, then resolutions start on the first Monday AFTER the new year.
My Birthday – You must have cake, preferably chocolate with cream under the icing. You should be guilt free on my Birthday too. (February 1st, mark it down.)
Valentine’s Day – If your Valentine doesn’t like chocolate. Eat the box you  bought him/her so he/she doesn’t feel badly. That’s love. Look it up.
St. Patrick’s Day- All people of Irish decent must have potatoes on this day.
Easter Sunday – All people of Polish decent must eat deviled eggs this day with ham after a hearty post-mass perogi.
Mother’s Day – You’ve gone through 40 plus hours of labor. You need nourishment.
Father’s Day – Eating’s the only way to distract one from the cavalcade of ugly ties and gifts associated with grilling.
Husband’s Birthday – Treats yourself anytime you are not the recipient of a gift.
Son’s Birthday – Celebrate his life. This eating is called being a good parent.
Fourth of July – John Adams liked a good meal, honor him this day.
Labor Day – Supporting my local food growers by eating a lot of local food.
Other Son’s Birthday – A lot of people have more than one child so you wouldn’t want anyone left out. (Add as many birthday’s as needed after you get a good head count on the number of kids you have.)
Halloween – Is it fair for only the legions of neighbor kids to enjoy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?  No it is not. Partake.
Saturdays – This is like a holiday every week.
Even days of the month – The reason for this is lost to history but it has something to do with the fate of the planet.
Fridays- This is the weekly pilgrimage to worship the unlimited nacho chip appetizer bowl.
Cold Days (under 25 degrees out) – Eating to add a layer of insulation is a survival technique, look at bears, whales, and various woodchucks.
Hot Days – You must replace the fluids with sugar.
Today-  Well duh, or course today.

It seems a sensible way to have a healthy relationship with food. I’m going go have some cookie dough now. If I’ve forgotten any days please add them.