This are paczki. (Pronounce: poonchKEY) People eat them on Fat Tuesday. If you are not from the Midwest or Polish you’ve got no idea what the deal is with these dough balls. Here’s a detailed description of paczki. Basically paczki are Polish pastries. Each one weighs about 17 pounds, 400 to 600 calories, and is traditionally filled with prunes but nowadays can be filled with anything. According to the FBI Jimmy Hoffa is likely jammed into one. Paczki is plural and paczek is one. “Oh my lead filled gut why did I eat a paczek? Call a cardiologist right now. ”

Paczki were invented by the Poles. The story goes that on Fat Tuesday the Poles would clean out the pantry before the fasting associated with Lent. They’d wad all this stuff together, fry it, and then coat it with sugar. (Understand I’m not criticizing Polish food. I am comprised of Polish food.) Read all about it at the Official home of Hamtramack, Michigan.

But I am warning you as a Polish woman if you eat paczki you will regret it. You might have fun while it’s going down but then – whoa. You will shudder as you swallow the last bite. Then the dough ball hits your gut. Your brief shame will internalize, soon, as the paczek sits there you turn into Diane Lane on the train home after cheating on Richard Gere in Unfaithful. (Mind you, you don’t look like Diane Lane after eating a paczki, anymore than your hubby looks like Richard Gere. You just feel her Oscar Nominated level of shame. You look like Dame Edna.)

Mark My Blog… You Will Regret Eating the paczki like you will regret…
Hooking Up with an Ex
Buying that Sequined Thing
Those Bangs
Telling Your Boss what you really think
Neglecting to Floss

Fine.. if you’re going to do it use protection… because paczki are powdery. Wear a bib. You don’t want to get sugar on that Sequined Thing.

If you’ve got a regret.. please share… especially if it involves Richard Gere.