Metrosexual Diet
Last year, I was introduced to the Paleolithic Diet. Some of you may have already heard of it. The idea is, you should eat whatever Cavemen would eat. In other words, hunter gather-y foods or things that do not require factory processing and must die before you eat them (vegetables, fresh meat etc.). Today, I’d like play devil’s advocate and give equal time to the other side of the fence. So, I started with these two burning questions:
1.) What is the opposite of a caveman?
2.) What does the opposite of a caveman eat?
At the outset, I was thinking of maybe a brontosaurus or some other vegan dinosaur (because in my mind, that is the opposite of a caveman). More googling led me to the conclusion that the brontosaurus is, perhaps, the wrong model (‘cuz apparently they lived way before the caveman and are also not human…hmmm.) Some researchers have suggested that the metrosexual is, in fact, the polar opposite of the caveman.
According to Urban Dictionary, a metrosexual is basicially a man with taste and style who cares about fashion, art, and culture:
Also, apparently, the posterboy for the modern metrosexual man is David Beckham (and some have suggested Ryan Seacrest and any male dancer on Dancing with the Stars, and any man who cares about their grooming more than his girlfriend does). Right. So is there a metrosexual diet? If not, can we invent one? Before I go there, I should point out that there is another school of thought that holds that men on diets are by definition, metrosexuals. In other words, “real men” don’t diet. Perhaps, but I’ll leave that debate to the diet pundits.
Sticking with David Beckham as our model, what does he eat? A true quandary. I googled “what does David Beckham eat” interviewed multiple sources for this article, but the only hard evidence I could uncover is that David Beckham eats sandwiches.
Sandwiches are good. Grinders are really good. So what can we draw from all of this? You can maybe improve your health by eating nothing but berries like a caveman. You can perhaps also improve your health by eating nothing but sandwiches…er…and Posh Spice, like a metrosexual. ‘Cuz David Beckham is dreamy.
The choice is yours. My only interest is fair and balanced diet reporting.
1.) What is the opposite of a caveman?
I don’t think it’s a metrosexual. The phrase “opposites attract” would then indicate that both are gay. That’s all we need are gay cavemen … Gay metrosexuals? That’s a given.
I think the opposite of a caveman is a female nerd, complete with “birth control” glasses. Replace the guys from “Big Bang Theory” with their equivalents of the opposite sex, and there it is.
2.) What does the opposite of a caveman eat?
Twinkies, King Dongs, Ho-Ho’s, lots of pizza, greasy and salty potato chips, plenty of Coca-Cola, and Hershey’s chocolate bars. It’s smeared all over their keyboards, monitos and lab glassware.
I don’t think the Beckham’s eat much of anything. It’s why they always look so miserable. Low blood sugar.
Jack from Will and Grace is exactly the opposite of a caveman
I love that show! I’m Karen…. a lush who loves hanging with the gay men! I could totally work at a salon!
Ok Greta, you’re off the ACLU Radar. I would agree Beckham is metrosexual. I always thought the metrosexual man was straight but still liked to get a mani/pedi and wax his eyebrows.
Angela, I think that’s a fair description of a metrosexual.
FB, true that.
MPM, you may be on to something.
The opposite of caveman is civilized man…therefore a civilized man diet…would be sushi..right?…right???
Are those animals humping? Because it looks like some sort of crazy orgy.
Grizzly bears are whores.
David Beckham is a rather fine-looking speciman of a man. Posh Spice is an underfed, bitch-faced, heinous-looking cow. I can’t imagine why she thinks Americans don’t like her. Do a Google imagine search…I defy you to find ONE SINGLE PHOTO where she is smiling. I swear, there isn’t one. She has perfected the art of the bitchface.
Here, just to prove my point (which I always find necessary), check out this recent picture of the Spice Girls. Four of them are smiling, one has a bitchface on. Guess which one?
http://gossipgalore.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/spice-girls-secret-october-17-2007.jpg
Simple, David eats Victoria, and as we ALL know, she’s fat free.
Thanks Holly, when I wrote this, it totally felt like that scene from A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe in the bar…with the angles and lines and epiphanies. It was exactly the same.
i heard that David Beckham is also suffering from OCD.*”-
i heard too that David Beckham suffers some form of obsessive compulsive behaviour like he wants to count or something:.`
when it comes to football, Beckham is of course the best player that i know `:-
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