This study made the news this week.  It says dieters who have a 600 calorie breakfast the included a cookie or cake lost more weight than the idiots who ate 300 calorie breakfast. Initially all study participants lost weight but in the SECOND half of the study dieters with the lower calorie and carbohydrate breakfasts gained back weight and the cake eaters lost more weight.

Logically this study says don’t deny yourself too much because THIS will happen. In addition experts say you’ve got more time to burn the bad stuff if you eat it in the morning. Also those who eat cake for breakfast reported feeling like the King of France or something.

I plan to extrapolate this bad stuff in the morning study for all aspects of my health. From now on I’m going to eat cake for breakfast and wash it down with a martini because if you deny yourself martinis too often you’ll be very shaken, not stirred. In addition to doing my dranking in the morning I’m going to go tanning, stick a cell phone directly into my ear canal,  and let my tire pressure get stupid low. I’m also going to taunt rabid dogs in the morning just for good measure.

I’m sure in no time I’ll be looking fine! Oh and Bill Cosby was SO ahead of the research on this one.