We learned Wednesday that rice may contain “worrisome levels of arsenic.” A new report released by Consumer Reports says eating rice once a day can drive arsenic levels in the human body up 44 percent. Have rice twice a day and your insides turn into a fiery cauldron of impending horrible death.

Of course I am over-reacting. The report actually says if you eat rice twice a day there can be a 70 percent increase in the amount of arsenic in your body. Until this week I had no idea that arsenic was in my body. But I also didn’t know who Psy was until last week and he’s an international superstar.

My arsenic knowledge was limited to scenes from the play “Arsenic and Old Lace.” In the play a bunch of old ladies kill people with arsenic as a community service. This is important to the current report on arsenic in rice because that’s how I know arsenic is a POISON.

At first I thought, not to worry. I really mostly eat brown rice. Except that’s a lie…continue reading.