We are Ten Days into 2012. How are you doing? Are  you quitting? Are you staying strong? Here are the reasons why EVEN if you’ve tripped up you need to reset. Right now. Let’s make a six week plan. Forget about the whole year – today let’s Target Valentine’s With these Mini Goals.

1. Guilt Free Valentine – We want treat ourselves on February 14th. Without reservation, without guilt, and WITH chocolate. If you have a Valentine they’ll love the new you, if you DON’T you might attract a new sweetie with your new focus and confidence.

2. We have SIX WEEKS until then. This isn’t the whole year. This isn’t a HUGE commitment. It’s six weeks. You can be six pounds lighter – that’s a lot. That’s going to make you feel GOOD!

3. Short memory. If you have SUCKED at your 2012 diet so far forget it. It’s just ten days. Successful athletes have a short memory. They make a mistake, make a correction and move on. Wallowing in a bad start isn’t helping. Move on in strength. Tim Tebow just lost THREE games in a row and then BAM he leads his team to a victory against the Steelers. No wallowing in the three losses, correct, work, win!

* Bonus Doomsday Reason to Stick to Your Diet* This whole “doomsday year” situation means you need to be fit and ready. You want to be able to at the least fight off zombies, at the MOST look bangin’ during the “we’re all going to die” party.

Where are YOU going to be on Valentine’s Day? It’s six weeks away. Don’t be here.

Yes – it’s National Big Sweater Week. Join us and wear big sweaters all week. Because sometimes a little ribbon just won’t cover it.

There are many things my mother knows. Above are three edicts I learned young. (And puffy sleeves might be okay for you but I’m broad shouldered, it is NOT recommend for my width to add puffs on top. Mom is wise.) So skipping the holiday card mass mailing is particularly applicable as we head into the holidays. Here are three reasons NOT to send cards.

1. Too quickly the list goes from friends and family to work friends then former work friends then people who’ve tailgated you to people who’ve divorced your second cousin. It’s never ends.

2. If you send cards every year and then one year you can’t, or don’t feel like it, or you have pneumonia everyone will wonder why. There’s bad blood. So if you STOP this year they’ll be some concern, people will reach out, but it will pass.

3. It’s better for the planet – tell ‘em you love ‘em on Facebook.

Read more about my mother’s advice on Christmas Cards and with bonust content on why not to learn Finnish.

MOMHUMBUG will be the very first Weigh In topic on Rebecca Regnier’s Full Plate – you’ll start seeing Full Plate online starting December 4th! I know – just another thing you have to do during the holidays. But I promise this one will be fun.

Just choose your diet. Counting points? Set it to Weight Watchers Wand Mode! Counting carbs? Set it to Atkins Attack Mode. Then aim The Skinny Gun© at anything you want to eat. The Skinny Gun© will calculate your numbers, keep a running total, AND shock the crap out of your hand when you aim it at items that put it over your daily total! Order today. Operators are standing by.

*And for a limited time you get the patented Hormone Zone Attachment©. At certain times of the month/life/menopause/or post-partum the Hormone Zone Attachment© will release the Mood Shooter. Instead of counting points The Skinny Gun© will release snarky comments aimed at any one or thing you choose. Just smile and point – let the Mood Shooter do the dirty work!

No more counting, calculating, or remembering. Now with The Skinny Gun© it’s Ready, Aim, Diet!

Legal notice – if someone actually comes up with this you heard it here first and we’ll be the like Winklevoss Twins. We’ll dog you for our $65 Million until you give us $80 Million just to go away. You’ve been warned. We’re pretty sure we’re legally covered now. ORDER TODAY! Oh and we MAY just change the name to SkinnyGun© because we just saw The Social Network and it seems that the Napster guy thinks using the word “the” is sort of cluttered. SO we’re also claiming SkinnyGun© – order today!

Well guess the heck what? The Lose It App on our phone just upgraded it sort of DOES have a Skinny Gun©. Oh sure it’s not called that BUT you point your phone at a barcode and KAPOW you get the nutritional info logged right into  your food journal. It’s weird. Wonderful. Effective and DANG why didn’t we actually invent it. Alas… reach for the sky The Skinny Gun© is here!