Please print and customize. Dear (beloved husband/significant other/co-parent/lovely wife/offspring), You may have noticed that my (butt/gut/thighs) (have/has) spread in the last few (decades/9 months/weeks/holidays) and is now (wider than our love seat/lookin’ like a pony keg/preventing me from wearing corduroy as friction may ignite a thigh fire). I am trying to (lose a few pounds/shrink [...]